Flip This Wholesaler

6/4/2008

I got one of my REO offers accepted yesterday afternoon, which is great, except the buyer I had lined up is now not sure if he wants it or not (grrrrrr). So, now it’s a race to find another buyer. I didn’t leave myself much time to close, because I was sure my guy would take it, so I kinda need to find a buyer fast. It’s a good house that doesn’t need any work, and I’ve got it at a good price, so I don’t think I will have too much trouble selling it. We’ll see. I’ve already got some signs up in the neighborhood, and put the word out that it’s available.

Today I sold one of my wholesaler friend’s houses to one of my cash buyers who was ready for another deal (I put the property under contract with my buddy, and then assigned it to my buyer).   The spread was really thin, so I’m only going to be making a grand off of it, but it’s better than getting punched in the face or kicked in the teeth or what have you. This is the third house that I’ve sold to this buyer on the same street. He wants to buy up the whole block, I think. Fine with me.

The other cash buyer that is ready for another deal sent me an email today that really ticked me off. A lot. In a nutshell, I spoiled him with the last deal I sold him, and could probably have gotten at least another 5k out of the deal, if not more, but I’m retarded sometimes, and I told him how much I had it under contract for, which was a big mistake. Anyway, the place was a 3/2 block, needed ZERO repairs, he bought it for 72k, did a 70% refi (appraisal came in at 145k), pulled some cash out, and had it rented within a few weeks. This was his first deal, and apparently I gave him the impression that deals like that are just hanging out by the pool in my backyard. Anywho, I sent him a deal today (the one I have under contract) asking 79k. It is the same square footage, roughly, but is a 3/1 instead of a 3/2, but it is in a better part of town, and, would rent for a higher amount. It is rent ready. So, he sends me a (rather rude) email back saying (in a nutshell), that “frankly” a higher priced house that has one less bathroom is not very “appealing” to him, and maybe if I was asking 68k or less it “might be worth a look.” Really? Well, go fuck yourself. How bout that? Go find your own deals and see how easy it is, pal.

Oh, You’ll never guess who I had the pleasure of telling off yesterday………Slim Shady’s accomplice who wrote the bad check a few weeks back!

I was having lunch with another wholesaler yesterday when this retarded piece of trash called the guy I was having lunch with. Slim and Co. have been pretending that they are going to buy one of this guy’s properties, too, and have been pulling the same shenanigans with him.

So, I made my friend give me the phone, and I WENT OFF on him. I told him he was a dirtball and nobody in the entire city of Tampa wants to do business with him because he is a shady bastard.

So, then, true to form, he tells me that he is still planning on closing that deal he bailed on like 2 weeks ago. HAHAHAHAHA.

Then he tells me (this is freaking HILARIOUS), that he has a hard money lender in CHINA who is going to lend him FIVE MILLION DOLLARS to buy houses, and can he have his hard money lender call me?

So, I play along, and a few minutes later I get a call from some other bozo with the same story. I let him have it, too, and let him know the only way I would ever sell him a house was if he showed up with a suitcase full of cash for the entire amount of the purchase.

These shady assholes need to be put in their place. They give the rest of us a bad name.

I’ll leave you with a picture of Slim that my buddy Bruce out there in Blogland sent me…..

Hehehe. You crack me up, Bruce.

5/16/2008

Got the call from at 9:56….. Check bounced.

They can’t close.  SHOCKER.

Instead of just apologizing for being sorry ass piles of human trash, they want to keep the game going, and promised to bring 2k in certified funds at 3pm (they love meeting at 3pm for some reason).

Anybody have a baseball bat? Because I’d like to smash both of their faces in.

Shady fuckers.

I hope they get hit by a bus today.

5/16/2008

Well, a few hours after I posted yesterday, Slim’s phone was turned back on. My friend got a hold of him, and he still claims to be closing today.

The check still hasn’t cleared, but it hasn’t bounced yet, either.

Not sure what time the closing is supposed to take place, but I’m guessing I’ll be getting a call round about noon from SS or one of his cohorts with some story about why they can’t close.

I’d love to be wrong, but I’m just not thinking this thing is gonna close.

I’ll keep you posted.

P.S.
My friend closed on it yesterday with his own money, so he owns it now.

5/15/2008

I would think I was making this up if I wasn’t actually in the middle of the deal..

So, my friend just called Slim to set up a time for closing tomorrow, and HIS PHONE IS DISCONNECTED.  WTF?

I’m going to go ahead and guess that if he doesn’t have the funds for his phone bill, he probably doesn’t have 2k in the bank to cover the deposit.

My guess: he disappears into thin air and we never hear from him again.

Good times.

5/13/2008

And the saga continues…

I got a call from my friend earlier today letting me know that Shady never called back yesterday, and that he was pretty sure one of his other buyers was going to take the place (at a much lower price). I can’t say I was surprised.

About an hour later, my phone rings, and guess who it is? That’s right, Slim Shady (I even have him programmed in my phone as Slim Shady, which I think is hysterical). Anyway, he’s all hot and bothered because he REALLY, REALLY, for serious this time, has the deposit, and wants to bring it over RIGHT NOW. FOR REAL!!! No, FOR REAL this time!!

I let him know that he pretty much lost any remaining shred of credibility with both of us, and that we didn’t want to deal with him anymore because he is a liar and a waste of time. He kept insisting that he was for real this time, and said he would bring the deposit over NOW. No really, NOW. FOR REAL!! I told him it wasn’t up to me, and to call my friend and ask him.

After a few more phone calls, Shady finally promised my friend (for REAL this time), that he would be right over with the deposit and the contract.

I have to say that I am totally shocked, because he did, indeed, show up with a check for 2k (that I will bet my dog Jim on, is going to bounce). He has until Friday to close, and I am giving him a .00000000000000000000000001% chance of actually getting it done.

I seriously will have a freaking heart attack if this guy actually closes.

Stay tuned.