Flip This Wholesaler

6/10/2009

Dear Joe,

From the bottom of my heart.

Sincerely,
Stephani Davis

5/1/09

Wow!

I can’t believe this is happening!

I was just presented with the most incredible investment opportunity, and thought I would write a post about it in hopes that one of you would be interested in joint venturing on this deal with me. From what I can tell, it looks like we could stand to make a HUGE chunk of money on this one.

I’ll cut and paste the email I just received.

Let me know what you think…..

I am waiting for your reply,
Best regards,
Miss Arya Mohammed.

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Can you believe this, people????

In case you don’t have a calculator handy, 8.5 million x 20%= A LOT OF MONEY!!!

Woohoo!

If anyone is interested in going in on this deal with me 50/50, please respond in the comments section with your name, date of birth, social security number, and bank account info (acct#, routing #).

Thanks, and have a great weekend!

P.S.
This is THE OPPORTUNITY OF A LIFETIME!

3/8/09

I didn’t get much done real estate-wise this weekend, because I was busy composing a letter to the President.

You see, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, and I’ve decided that it’s a load of crap that I have to pay back my student loans.

So, I decided to write a letter to Barack to see if he can do something about this injustice.

I’m not saying these loans shouldn’t be paid back (that would be totally irresponsible), I’m just saying I don’t think it’s fair that I should have to pay them.

First of all, I was only 18 when I signed for these loans, and even though I signed my name on the dotted line, and took the money and spent it, I still feel like I was duped by the evil-doer loan officers, who should have done a better job of explaining the details of the loans to me.

This is not fair.

Also, I DIDN’T EVEN GRADUATE!

Why should I have to pay back the loans if I didn’t even end up getting my degree?

That is totally not fair.

What about all those people who did graduate, got good jobs, and now have a bunch of extra money lying around?? Why can’t they pay for my loans?

So what if they made sacrifices while I was busy blowing all of my loan money on beer and drugs. It’s still NOT FAIR!

I think I have a pretty good case for a student loan bailout.

I’m sending the letter off tomorrow, and will keep you all posted as to how it turns out.

Later.

12/9/2008

So, I decided to try a new approach to getting the bank’s title companies to get my deals closed on time.

I like to call it…….. “Operation Throw Your Lazy Ass Under The Bus.”

Basically, what I do is, dig up the asset manager’s contact info (this is not the easiest thing to do, but I am nothing if not resourceful), and then start throwing people under the bus, one by one.

It’s actually more fun than I’ve had in a really long time.

The best part is, I do it in such a way so that it doesn’t appear that I am actually tattling on people, because, as we all learned in kindergarten- no one likes a tattle tale. So, I just send an “innocent” email explaining the absolute nightmare that it has been to get a straight answer out of anyone as to why in the hell my deal is not going to close on time, and why are files getting lost, and why are addenda (addendums? addendi?) never getting sent to the bank, and why is Paige ignoring my phone calls and emails when she said she would get back to me by noon yesterday??? I just want a straight answer from someone.

This approach is still in Beta testing, but I have high hopes.. I had to give up on the bribery strategy, because there are just too many people involved in the closing process/fiasco, and it’s hard to pinpoint the one person who actually might be able to push the deal through. Plus, it really irks me to have to pay people extra to do their job correctly.

I got another offer accepted today, which makes 5 that I have under contract right now, and which also pushes my stress level into the red zone. Especially since I offered to close on Monday on this one, and they ended up taking me up on my offer. This would not be problematic since I already have a cash buyer lined up, however, there are some issues to be dealt with. Here’s how the phone call went today between me and my buyer…..

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Me: Hey Jim, I can get that property on Sitka to you for 27k. You interested?

Jim: Heck yeah.

Me: Well, it needs to close by Monday, and I know you like to use your title company, but I’d feel much better using mine because I know they can get it done in less than a week, so how about we split the closing costs (I normally make my buyers pay all closing costs on the second transaction), and we close at my title company?

Jim: Well, that’s fine, except I don’t have an ID.

Me: Huh?

Jim: Yeah, I don’t have an ID. I’ve been doing deals at my title company for so many years and they will notarize my documents without my ID. Is that going to be a problem.

Me: You don’t even have a state ID or anything?

Jim: Nope.

Me: Uhhhhhhh, let me call my title company and see what the say……

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So, I call my title company and explain, and they, of course can not do the closing without an ID from him, because the docs have to be notarized, but they say they can do all of the title work, and then just send it to his title company and have them do a courtesy closing, and sign the docs there and wire the money to my title company, who would then wire it to the bank’s title company. Lost yet?

This sounded good for awhile, but I can’t even imagine having to add a 3rd title company into the mix, so I called and talked to the attorney who owns my buyer’s title company, and he said they would do a simultaneous closing (using my buyer’s funds to fund both deals) as long as there was full disclosure to my buyer (there is ). S0000000000, long story long, it looks like we are closing at his title company, and I just KNOW it is going to be a really good time. Should make for some great blog fodder, anyway.

Well, now I have 4 deals that are supposed to close by the end of next week, and I think we should all take bets on how many actually close. I’ve got my money on one. One out of four- that sounds about right.

10-4. Over and out.

P.S.
In case you’re wondering why my buyer doesn’t just go out and get an ID, well, I’m just guessing that he can’t, and I don’t really want to know why.

10/30/2008

Well, I’ll be damned if one of my REO deals isn’t closing tomorrow……ON TIME!!

Holy shit- somebody pinch me! I didn’t think it was possible.

Of course, it’s not actually closed yet, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the house got sold off to another bank tomorrow morning- it could happen. (Wait- actually, it HAS happened – remember the pink house deal???) Or, my buyer could get struck by a random bolt of lightning on his way to the closing. Or, have a heart attack while sitting at the closing table (before signing the docs). It could happen.

I have another one that’s supposed to close this coming up Monday (was supposed to close Monday of this week, but you know how that goes).

I got another one under contract Tuesday and sold it to my new California buyer. Yay! We met for dinner yesterday to get the contract signed and to discuss his plans to dominate the Tampa housing market and also to make me filthy rich. Teehee.

Let’s see, what else?

Oh- I punched my computer today (really hard), and now it’s even more messed up than it was after I spilled wine on the keyboard a few weeks ago.

You see, I was trying to get the TWENTY FIVE PAGE offer package for the deal I just got under contract, printed, filled out, and FedExed to Countrywide before 6pm (last FedEx pick up).

The first time I printed it out, signed and initialed everything, and then realized I signed in black ink instead of blue (Heaven forbid you sign in black!).

So, I reprinted another 25 pages, and then realized I printed the package for the wrong address, and so then when I went to print another 25 pages, my printer ran out of ink and I had to haul ass to Target to get another ink cartridge and then when I went to print for the 4th time, a piece of paper got jammed in the printer, and then my computer just froze up, and I lost my temper and punched the keyboard as hard as I could.

And it felt GOOD, let me tell you.

I suppose I should invest in a punching bag or something, as I think it might be less expensive in the long run…..

And that’s all I’ve got for now.

P.S.
I ended up getting to FedEx on time. Barely.