Flip This Wholesaler

Warning: This post has absolutely nothing to do with real estate.  If you’re looking for a post about real estate, please come back in a few days.

So, I’m in the middle of packing right now (which I was supposed to do last night, but instead got sidetracked downloading free music from Limewire), but I wanted to write a quick post before I head out the door on a road trip out to the middle of nowhere.  Which is going to be awesome.

My friend Shawn and I rented a cabin on the river for a few days at this cool place where they have cave diving and canoeing, and all that kind of fun stuff.  I would post a link to the place we’re staying at, but you never know if there’s any axe murderers reading my blog, and this place is seriously out in the middle of nowhere, and that would totally suck to have some dude show up at the cabin door at 1am wearing a hockey mask and brandishing a machete.  Ya know?

Plus, I’m already a little bit freaked out because the last time Shawn and I rented a cabin (this was about a year ago at a different place), it was totally haunted.  I’m not even kidding.  When we got there, there was this guest book on the dining room table where you can write about all the cool things you did while you were there, and we read through the whole book (it went back about 7 years), and a bunch of people kept writing in there that the cabin was haunted.

We didn’t really think too much of it until the first night when I woke up at like 4am and noticed that the bathroom door was shut and the light was on.  I just figured it was Shawn, so I went back to sleep and then it was morning, and Shawn came into my room asking me why I left the light on in the bathroom and shut the door in the middle of the night.

He said he didn’t do it, and I know I didn’t do it.  Then he tried to say I probably just had too many glasses of wine and got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and forgot. Which was totally not the case.  Well, maybe I did have a few too many glasses of wine, but I never just get up in the middle of the night. Once I’m out, I’m out.

So anyway, the next night we had dinner and some drinks and then went to sleep, and I shit you not, the stereo that we brought (that was in the kitchen), turned on by itself at about 2am and started BLASTING Maroon 5.  I’m not even making this up.  I still remember the song and the exact verse that was playing…..

“THIS LOVE HAS TAKEN IT’S TOLL, ON ME, SHE SAID GOODBYE, TOO MANY TIMES BEFOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRE……”

I think I may have crapped my pants. (and not in a good way, Julie.)

Shawn tried to pretend like he wasn’t as freaked out as I was (because he’s kind of a Mr. Tough Guy kind of guy), and also I think he knew I was about to have a freaking heart attack and he didn’t want to scare me any more than I already was.

So anyway, we ended up staying the rest of night (if it was up to me we would have left right then and there), and then we got the hell out of there bright and early the next morning.

The End.

And the reason why I’m telling you this story is because crazy shit like this always happens to me and Shawn, so if you don’t hear back from me in a few days, please SEND HELP.  Although, I didn’t tell you where I was staying, so I guess that will be kind of hard.

My Mom, knows where I’m staying.

Speaking of my Mom, she tells me that I shouldn’t tell people when I’m going out of town because then they might break into my house and steal all of my valuables (even though I don’t really have any valuables except my laptop, which I’m taking with me so I can listen to all the songs I downloaded from Limewire last night).  And also, you’d have to pretty much be Spider-Man to break into my condo, but even so, just to make my Mom happy, I hired a professional Ninja to house sit for me for the next couple of days.  So, if you’re planning on breaking in, you better bring your A game.

Alright, I gotta run!

Have a great rest of the week, everybody!

P.S.
Now that I think about it, I bet Spider-Man could probably kick a Ninja’s ass.

Crap.

P.P.S.
Change of plans. I just cancelled the Ninja and called Chuck Norris instead.

P.P.P.S.
One time, at band camp, Chuck Norris ate a percussionist.

P.P.P.P.S.
Chuck Norris caught the Karate Kid in mid air with chopsticks.

P to the 5th power S.
Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool Chuck Norris once and he’ll roundhouse you in the face.